Personal Essays
American for the First Time
By Lamaretta Simmons
 | Illustration by Rebecca Kramer |
It has become quite uncool, over the last decade or so, to be an American patriot and spew that patriotism proudly. Often, patriotic folk are thought of as racist, overzealous, and limited in their full understanding of America's flaws, as well as the areas in which our country shines. I, myself, being a woman, an African American and a southerner, have been at times at the forefront of denouncing this country for the acts of terror and betrayal it has committed against those abroad as well as many of its own citizens. Historically, minorities, all minorities, have a justified beef with this government and policies that have led to not only racial, sexual, and lifestyle degradation of those often on the fringes of society, but also the economic instability to which a great deal of those within its borders live.
Strangely enough, as I watched the horrific scenes of September 11 unfold on television, and saw those images of people jumping to their deaths in hopes of living, I shook uncontrollably. Me, a cynic, supposedly jaded and desensitized-by-Hollywood. And a day after watching this scene, I flipped through several other stations and saw the tickers roll by again and again: "Osama bin Laden called for the murder of all Americans"; "Osama bin Laden called for the killing of all Americans."
It is my understanding - I will admit that understanding is very limited and probably skewed by the United States' own propaganda about the Saudi millionaire - that bin Laden's aim, at best, is a destruction of capitalism, globalism, and of course American military occupation on holy lands in the Middle East. But, according to his statements, he thinks he can accomplish this by killing all Americans. I won't venture further into this, except to say, IF he is behind it he did not accomplish it alone, and IF in fact he did it, and I am not certain he did, he is severely wrong.
But his statement - to kill all Americans - put me for the first time in a different category. I was not a woman, an African American, a southerner. My socio-economic background or current financial state does not come into play. To those who believe as bin Laden, I am simply American, and by virtue of my birth I am far too privileged and arrogant to live. Well, slowly, I must admit, I am feeling weirdly patriotic. I am for the first time in my life, appreciative of the relative freedom with which the country conducts itself. Let me emphasize RELATIVE. While it is not a perfect freedom, as very little in this world is, I don't think at this moment I would rather live anywhere else. I, for the first time, feel connected to this country, whereas previously I have felt a stranger within it, something separated from it - a hyphenated American. Bin Laden does not deal with trifles such as hyphens, or histories, but only his own anger and self-indulgent episodes of mass-destruction.
So often, especially in the U.S., we deal with obtuse categorizations and ethnic accusations, of which many of our innocent peace-loving
Arab immigrants are no doubt witnessing. This country, with its peculiar racial and religious past, cannot say that it has not used violence to rule by fear, and religion to justify it, much the way it appears that those responsible for the recent mass murders seek to justify their murderous rage. Rage that they would cloak in religious ideology.
But despite this history, which I could elaborate on for another several hundred pages, I am forced to come to terms with the fact that I am an American. Even if by default. But it is more than that... While I recognize the problems with this country, my country, and our government's policy of beneficial intervention in other countries racked by civil unrest, I am compelled still by some strange new emotion to give President Bush a hug, and ask him simply to be careful, choose wisely, and allow peace to prevail.
"Violence as a way of achieving...justice is both impractical and immoral...Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
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