The Best of the Worst in Advertising

By Maureen Murphy

Apparently, British advertising agencies feel that advertising on cars, egg shells, and those light-projected images on city sidewalks are not enough. The latest surface to be colonized by the advertising empire is that of a dog. Yes, dogs are now used for advertising purposes in England. These advertisements, or “dogverts,” have already been used to promote a Playstation II video game. According to ananova.com, the THQ advertising agency has big plans for these “dogverts.” Ananova.com reported, “Richard Williams, senior marketing manager with the company said: ‘To qualify, dogs need to have short, pale hair to accentuate any advertisements, must be healthy, and walked at least twice a day. We only use vegetable dyes to ensure we do not harm any animals.’” If it makes you feel any better, the company will be donating to the Mayhew Animal Shelter, the London shelter where Fido, the “dogvert” pioneer, was “rescued.”

Unfortunately, “dogverts” aren’t the only ad campaign that push the line of decency for British video game advertisers. According to the Associated Press, “Acclaim UK is seeking applicants who will legally change their names for one year to promote the latest installment of its video game series about Turok, a time-traveling American Indian who slays bionically enhanced dinosaurs.” Acclaim UK feels this kind of marketing is necessary “to reach consumers dulled to conventional advertising.” The five chosen will have to change their name to Turok and “act as an ambassador of the game,” answering questions that any passersby may have. Since these “Turoks” would only receive about $785 (U.S.) and “a computer game console [and] as many games as they can play,” my guess is that this ad campaign will attract super geeks that are used to role-playing games anyway.

Even so, here in the U.S. things aren’t much better. It seems that the war on terrorism has carved out its own niche for advertising agencies. According to The Guardian, “Four videos about Muslims living in the United States will be shown in Islamic countries around the world as part of a campaign conceived by the former advertising executive Charlotte Beers, who was hired by U.S. president George Bush in the wake of the September 11 attacks, with a brief to improve America’s image abroad.”

These Muslim-Americans will be shown living happy lives in this propaganda — er, television-campaign. But these “commercials” have run into some problems. As The Guardian reports, “The Egyptian government is not allowing the films to be shown on its television stations, saying it does not accept paid programming from a foreign country.”
Another case of too little too late is that of “Safer America,” the anti-terrorism store that is set to open a hop, skip, and a jump away from the site of the former World Trade Center’s twin towers. Items that will be sold in the store include radiation detection gadgets and equipment that tests hazardous materials. But what will be under every office worker’s Christmas tree this year will surely be the “Exec-u-Chute,” which ananova.com reports, is “a parachute for people who work in tall buildings and may need to escape.”

One sign that the Safer America store is not likely to display in its window is the “Snipers Welcome” sign that greeted patrons of the Swat Team Gaming store in Gresham, Oregon. This sign incited a large uproar when it remained up during the manhunt for the D.C. area sniper. Although the sign promotes a video game, many locals found it to be in poor taste. No word on whether the sign has been taken down or whether the accused snipers visited the store while they lived in the Seattle area.

Illustration by
Ruchika Gandotra