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On college campuses, one in four women are victims of rape, 84 percent of those women knew their assailant, and 57 percent of those rapes happened on a date. Acquain-tance rape is any non-consensual sexual activity between two or more people who know each other. Acquaintance rape can happen between friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, and people who have just met. It is a crime in Illinois, and there is no legal difference between sexual assault by a stranger and sexual assault by an acquaintance.
The following is reprinted with permission from the Santa Monica-UCLA Rape Treatment Center, a program nationally recognized for its exemplary sexual assault treatment, education, and prevention programs:
There is a prevailing misconception that acquaintance rape is not as serious, as criminal, and not as damaging to the victim as stranger rape. Some people think it isn't "real rape." These are dangerous attitudes. Rape is a felony crime, regardless of the offender's relationship to the victim. Acquaintance rape is just as serious and just as devastating to the victim as stranger rape.
Here are some steps you can take to avoid acquaintance rape. Remem-ber that acquaintance rape is a crime. It is never acceptable to use force in sexual situations, no matter what the circumstances are. It is also never acceptable to have sex with someone who is unable to resist or consent because of the effects of alcohol or drugs or because of any other physical or mental disability.
Listen carefully. Take the time to hear what your partner is saying. If you feel that your partner is not being direct or is giving you a "mixed message," ask for clarification. "No" means "no." If your partner says "no" to sexual contact, believe him or her and stop.
Be especially careful in situations involving the use of alcohol or drugs. Alcohol and drugs can interfere with your ability to assess your safety and to communicate effectively.
Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent can be rape or sexual assault. If you have sex with someone who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying "no," or unaware of what is happening, you may be guilty of rape or sexual assault.
Be aware of gender or sex-role stereotypes that may cause you to misinterpret your partner's behavior. Do not automatically assume, for example, that a woman wants to have sex just because she drinks heavily, dresses a certain way, or agrees to go to a man's room.
Don't make assumptions about your partner's behavior. Don't assume that just because your partner has had sex with you previously, he or she is willing to have sex with you again. Also, don't assume that a partner who consents to kissing or other sexual intimacies is therefore willing to have sexual intercourse.
Be especially careful in group situations. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to participate in violent or criminal acts or to get involved in situations in which you do not feel comfortable or safe.
"Get involved" if you believe someone else is at risk. If you see someone in trouble at a party or see a friend using force or pressuring another person, don't be afraid to intervene. You may save the target of the behavior from the trauma of a sexual assault and your friend from the ordeal of criminal prosecution.
Know your sexual intentions and limits. You have the right to say "no" to any unwanted sexual contact. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask your partner to respect your feelings.
Communicate your limits firmly and directly. If you say "no," say it like you mean it. Don't give mixed messages. Back up your words with a firm tone of voice and clear body language.
Don't rely on "ESP" to get your message across. Don't assume that your partner will automatically know how you feel or will eventually "get the message" without your having to say it.
Remember that some people think that drinking heavily, dressing provocatively, or agreeing to be alone with them indicates a willingness to have sex. Be especially careful to communicate your limits and intentions clearly in such situations.
Don't be afraid to "make waves" if you feel threatened. If you feel you are being pressured or coerced into sexual activity against your will, don't hesitate to state your feelings and get out of the situation. A few minutes of social awkwardness or embarrassment is better than the trauma of a sexual assault.
Attend large parties with friends you can trust. Agree to "look out" for one another. Try to leave with a group, rather than alone or with someone you don't know very well.
April is National Sexual Assault Awareness month. For further sexual assault information, support, or assistance on campus, your resources are: Health Services, Counseling Services, the Office of Student Affairs, Residence Life, and Campus Security.
For further support in the community, contact: The RVA-Rape Victim Advocates, at (312) 663-6303, located at 228 South Wabash Suite 240 Chicago, IL 60604. The Chicago Rape Crisis Hotline phone number is (888) 293-2080.
Sources : Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Rape Treatment Center-Santa Monica-UCLA Medical Center.