In an effort to familiarize our readers with the F Staff (a lot of us are new), we selected and answered questions from the famous personality quiz featured on the Bravo network’s celebrity suck-up cavalcade, Behind the Actor’s Studio. Prepare to be absolutely fascinated.

Jemal Diamond

Assistant Art Director

What turns you on?
My man-nipples being rubbed during polite conversation.
What turns you off?
Egos and eggos.

Rael Salley

Editor

What is your favorite word?
“spoortyoottydopalishious” - is there any better adjective?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
To work as producer of a reality show. No, no, even better - living as a “kept” man.

Caroline Keem

Webmistress

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
“Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
What profession would you not like to attempt?
I think I’d really hate working in the Financial Aid office

Sarah Oates

Designer

What is your favorite word?
“Word.” OR “Voluptuous.”
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
To be one of the sky-diving Elvises in Vegas.

C.Taylor

Designer

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I wanna be a professional mechanical bull rider with feathered hair, red lips and an operatic “wwwweeeeoooow” that will shatter beer mugs throughout any bar in town.
What profession would you not like to attempt?
Definitely would not want to be in publishing...muuuaaahhh ---- kidding! Uuuuh --- you can count me out on anything that involves liquor, sponges and talcum powder.

Melissa Soika

Ad Manager

What turns you off?
Anyone who points with their thumbs and index fingers — as if they were guns — to acknowledge the presence of one another (without irony); hippies; Thomas Kinkade; last call; exercise.
What is your favorite word?
“Fuckin’,” because I enjoy utilizing the copious vocabulary that I’ve attained through $100K worth of education.